Different Situations That You Should Take To Heart
by vonmagicae
Summary: I will probably change the title…anyway. This is a book of short scripts where the characters are in random situations that are meant to be crazy and weird. Enjoy! Rated T for language and maybe later on.
1. Gym Class Lotion

**Situation Number One: Lotion**

**Setting: Gym (Au at school)**

* * *

**EREN:** Hey, Heichou, can I borrow some lotion?

**LEVI: ***does that kick and flips off Eren* Just fuck off, Jager.

**HANJI: **Can I borrow some lotion, Shorty?

**LEVI:** *squirts it in her face* Take what you need, Shitty Glasses.

**ARMIN:** Can I borrow some lotion please, Levi Heichou?

**LEVI:** …..

**ARMIN:** …..Levi Heichou?

**LEVI:** *slowly hands it over*

**EVERYONE ELSE:** *gaping*

**ARMIN:** *hands the lotion back*

**ERWIN:** Can I have some?

**LEVI:** Why….?

**ERWIN:** Is't the question self explanatory?

**LEVI:** No.

**ERWIN:** *raises eyebrow*

**LEVI:** No.

**ERWIN:** *stares*

**LEVI:** No.

**ERWIN:** *stares some more*

**LEVI:** FUCK! *throws it and hits Erwin in the head*

**ERWIN:** *stumbles but uses the lotion and gives it back* Thank you.

**MIKASA:** Hand it over.

**LEVI:** Eren, get your crazed sister under control.

**EREN:** *whines* Mikasa, please, for me, don't do this.

**MIKASA:** Fine. *stomps off*

**LEVI:** ….And this isn't even mine…..

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This was inspired by a text from my wonderful friend. She was texting me about how someone asked to use my lotion, and how I responded by shyly saying 'no. please don't.' and then she brought up the idea of: 'what if that was Levi?' And this story of different situations and characters has come to life. Enjoy!

If you have a situation that you want featured, leave me a comment or a PM explaining what it is. :3


	2. Art Class Vandalism

**SITUATION #2**

**SETTING: ART CLASS**

**SUMMARY: ART CLAS VANDALISM**

* * *

**PETRA:** *draws a christmas tree and hums*

**ERWIN:** *works diligently on his drawing of Levi*

**HANJI:** *draws Titans while muttering to herself*

**MIKASA:** *watches Eren and tries to help him*

**EREN:** *tries to push Mikasa away*

**ARMIN:** *reads a book about art.* (Hey, close enough.)

**LEVI:** *leans over and draws a dick on Hanji's paper* (His own paper is blank I'll have you know. It's just a simple outline of a dick. Nothing special.)

**HANJI:** Levi! Why?!

**LEVI:** I'm bored of this shitty class.

**HANJI:** *erases the dick*

**LEVI:** *draws another one on Hanji's paper and one of Erwin's paper*

**ERWIN:** Levi, was that really necessary to do?

**LEVI:** Yes.

**ERWIN:** *huffs and erases the dick*

**HANJI:** *tugs at her hair and erases the dick and draws over that spot*

**EREN:** *takes Levi's paper and draws a gigantic dick on it*

**LEVI:** *looks at it for a moment then nods* Good job.

**EREN:** W-what?

**EVERYONE:** *looks dumbfounded*

**LEVI:** *flips paper over and starts to sketch as the teacher walks by*

**PETRA:** *she is completely oblivious to what just transpired over the past few minutes* What are you sketching now, Heichou?

**LEVI:** You're mom.

**PETRA:** Excuse me?

**LEVI:** A horse.

**EREN:** A horse?

**LEVI:** No an eagle.

**HANJI:** So it's an eagle?

**LEVI:** Not quite. It's a dragon.

**MIKASA:** So it's a dragon?

**LEVI:** Almost. It's more like a lion.

**ERWIN:** A lion then?

**LEVI:** Maybe…it's closer to a moose.

**ERD:** A moose?

**LEVI:** Getting closer. A lizard.

**GUNTHER:** A lizard? Really?

**LEVI:** no not really. It's a Discord.

**MIKASA:** From My Little Pony…?

**LEVI:** SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS BORED ONE NIGHT OKAY?! *shreds paper and draws flaming dicks on everyone paper*

* * *

**Author's Note:** Based on a true story. Yes, I have one friend that started it and now we all draw dicks on each other's paper.

Innit great? Good. X3

Also when posting a request, make sure to tell me which main character you want in the script. :3


	3. My Name Is

**SITUATION #3**

**SETTING: SPANISH CLASS**

**SUMMARY: MY NAME IS...**

* * *

**TEACHER:** *sitting on her lazy arse as the students sit together at a grouping of desks talking and doing a worksheet*

**MARCO:** I can't understand half of the stuff on here!

**JEAN:** Really? It's not that hard.

**EREN:** Only because you're copying off of Heichou.

**JEAN:** *growls* Shut up.

**EREN:** *rolls his eyes*

_(A moment of silence follows in which Levi covers his paper and Jean is left hanging.)_

**JEAN:** My name is Eren Jager and I'm a pompous arse.

**EREN:** *yells* Hey?! What was that all about?!

**JEAN:** I was bored.

**EREN:** Fine. My name Is Jean Horse-Face and I'm a straight as a the rounded edge of a cup.

**JEAN:** *splutters* What the hell?!

**ERWIN:** My name is Erd Jin and I lick gluesticks for fun.

**ERD:** Okay, sorry for this but, WHAT THE FUCK ERWIN?!

**TEACHER:** ERD!

**ERD:** Sorry!

**ERWIN:** *tries not to laugh too loudly* I'm sorry, but I had to.

**HANJI:** My name is Levi Insert Last Name Here and I got sent to jail for 6th degree rape and murder.

**LEVI**: Actually that accurately sounds like something I would do.

**EVERYONE:** *gives him a concerned look*

**LEVI:** What?

**PETRA:** My name is…Jean Kirschtien and I want to get into Marco's pants.

**JEAN:** *blushes* W-what?! No!

**MARCO:** *looks up from paper* Did someone say my name?

**JEAN:** No!

**MARCO:** Okay. *smiles*

**LEVI:** My name is Mikasa Ackerman and I have a crazed obsession with Eren Jager.

**MIKASA:** *stays silent*

**EREN:** Is that true?

**MIKASA:** *doesn't say anything*

**LEVI:** I see no objection.

**EREN:** Dammit.

**TEACHER:** Are you guys quite done with your silly little game?

**JEAN:** No.

**TEACHER:** Carry on.

_(Don't worry. We all have that **one** teacher.)_

**ARMIN:** My name is Marco Botd and I….never mind.

**MARCO:** Uh, okay.

**LEVI:** My name is Eren Jager and I steal people's virginity.

**EREN:** Was that really necessary to say?

**LEVI:** Yes now shut up.

**EREN:** okay.

**TEACHER:** Are you done with your game yet?

**MIKASA:** yes.

**JEAN:** Why did you say that?!

**MIKASA:** *shrug*

**MARCO:** Wait…we were playing a game?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So there you have it guys! Yes, my friends and I play this game in Spanish. If you want to play it, here are the rules:

Say; My name is, then the name of the person you want to insult. Then say something that is a lie (most of the time. And yes, these example were used in our own game), but it can be as outlandish as you want. Have fun and don't get in trouble!

As always, PM or comment if you want your idea to be featured and enjoy you day/night!


	4. If This Is Reading, Why Are We Drawing?

**Author's Note:**

mie rebus: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :3

* * *

**SITUATION #4**

**SETTING: READING/LANGUAGE ARTS**

**SUMMARY: IF THIS IS READING, WHY ARE WE DRAWING?**

* * *

**TEACHER:** Okay, so now that you've read the required chapters, I want you to draw a picture based on how the character has been described. I will give you your character. *hands out slips of paper to each small group with a name on it* And begin!

_(Petra, Erd, and Gunther are in one team. This should be interesting…)_

_(Levi, Erwin, and Hanji are in another team. Hm…let's see how this works.)_

_(Armin, Mikasa, and Eren are in the other group. Hopefully Armin can keep them all in line.)_

_(Jean, Marco, and Christa are in the last group. Hm.)_

**PETRA:** Okay, so, I'm thinking that she probably has shorter hair because with her being in battle and all….

**GUNTHER:** Agreed. But who should do the drawing?

**ERD:** Not me.

**PETRA:** I guess I'll do it. *starts to sketch on the paper*

**ERD:** That's a nice sketch.

**PETRA:** *smiles* Thanks.

**LEVI:** *doesn't bother to raise his hands. He doesn't give a horse's arse about this class* Miss, if we're in reading, why are we drawing?

**TEACHER:** Because I said so. _(She doesn't particularly like Levi, but somehow he passes this class with a high A.)_

**LEVI:** What kind of answer is that?

**TEACHER:** Be quiet and do your work!

**LEVI:** *drops his head to the desk*

**HANJI:** Shorty does have a point. We're not in art class, that was so two chapters ago.

**ERWIN:** Yeah right. But I guess we should just get this over with. Who's drawing?

**HANJI AND ERWIN:** *look at Levi*

**LEVI:** No.

**HANJI:** C'mon please?

**LEVI:** I said no.

**ERWIN:** Do it Levi.

**LEVI:** Fine. What should I draw?

**HANJI:** Weeeeeeeeeeell, it sounds like she's very strict and demanding, and as said in the book, she's in the business of dominatrix, but we shouldn't draw too much with that.

**LEVI:** *starts sketching and gets done within moments* There.

**ERWIN:** Looks like….

**LEVI:** Your mom.

**ERWIN:** Actually, the facial features and hair match very closely.

**LEVI:** Oh push off. *rolls eyes*

**ERWIN:** But it looks good.

**ARMIN:** So, who's going to do the drawing?

**MIKASA:** I can do it.

**EREN:** But I wanna draw!

**MIKASA:** You suck at art.

**EREN:** *huffs* Fine.

**ARMIN:** Well, our character is female. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. Tall, lanky.

**EREN:** How do you remember all this?

**ARMIN:** *deadpans* I have the book right in front of me.

**EREN:** AUG.

**CHRISTA:** *gives everyone a sweat smile* Who wants to do the drawing?

**MARCO:** I can do it!

**JEAN:** Well, it looks like our character is male, office worker. Curly black hair. Brown eyes.

**CHRISTA:** So, I think he's going to have a more serious face.

**MARCO:** *sketches away*

**CHRISTA: ***looks at Marco's drawing* It looks fantastic! You did a great job with the description, Jean.

**JEAN:** *falls into a daze at Christa's cuteness*

* * *

**Author's Note:**

If you guys don't know what dominatrix is, it's basically photography with very little clothes on. If you get the gist of it, you'll know what it is.

Thanks for reading! Comment or PM if you want your idea featured here. :3


	5. Black Is Actually A Very Sexual Colour

**SITUATION #5**

**SETTING: SCIENCE CLASS**

**SUMMARY: BLACK IS ACTUALLY A VERY SEXUAL COLOUR**

**DEDICATION: SEPHIROTH CRESENT-VALENTINE**

**HOW TO PLAY:**

This idea was not thought of by me, but by the wonderful Sephiroth! This is the Colour Game. Here are the rules (as quoted from her comment):

'Why don't they play the color game. The rules are that you don't outright say your playing the color game. People need to already know the rules from previous experience. One person says a color and then everyone says a different color and the last person to say a color has to make a very sexual noise. Once in French class one of my friends said Blue then everyone said a color except for this one boy ho didn't know the rules and we all just look at him for a while and he asked what we were doing and told him the rules. He started to blush like crazy and made a sound, that was so sexual, it gave a couple of my friends b***.'

* * *

_(Everyone is sitting in class, finishing up their notes and chatting quietly. Our cast for today includes Erwin, Levi, Marco, Jean, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and Petra.)_

**ERWIN:** *says out of nowhere without looking up* Blue.

**LEVI:** *immediately follows on beat* Green.

**MARCO:** *jumps in* Red.

**JEAN:** Brown *smirks*

**EREN:** *looks up slightly* Green.

**MIKASA:** Yellow.

**ARMIN:** Purple.

_(Silence)_

**PETRA:** Black. Well, shit.

**EVERYONE:** *looks up at Petra expectantly*

**PETRA:** *sighs in a sexual way*

**JEAN:** *raises an eyebrow*

_(More silence follows in which everyone prepares to play again)_

**LEVI:** Turquoise.

**PETRA:** Red.

**ARMIN:** Orange.

**MARCO:** Yellow.

**JEAN:** White.

**ERWIN:** Grey.

**EREN:** Green.

**MIKASA:** Pink. Dammit. *makes a sexual groaning noise*

**JEAN:** *furiously wipes away the blood*

_(More silence. Seriously how does the teacher not notice this?)_

**MIKASA:** Gold.

**ARMIN:** Grey.

**ERWIN:** Boysenberry.

**JEAN:** What the fuck?

**ERWIN:** It's a real colour.

**JEAN:** *huffs* Red.

**PETRA:** Violet.

**MARCO:** Skyblue.

**EREN:** Silver.

**LEVI:** Shit. *makes best sexual noise you'll ever hear*

**ERWIN:** *is suddenly gay for Levi*

**TEACHER:** What was that noise?

**EVERYONE:** *points to Levi*

**LEVI:** *whispers to them* I shall murder every last one of you and make it look like an accident.

**TEACHER:** Mister Levi, to the Principle's office.

**LEVI:** *stands up and mutters under his breath* Oh hell no.

**TEACHER:** What?

**LEVI:** *mutters again* Up yours.

**TEACHER:** A bit louder?

**LEVI:** I said: 'I was just stating the colors with my friends and messed up and groaned and it came out worse than I intended.'

**TEACHER:** Just go.

**LEVI:** I'd be glad to. *walks out of the door*

* * *

**Author's Note:**

As always, comment or PM your idea and it may show up here! Enjoy everyone! :3


End file.
